Felt like today should be surgery day with the little amount of sleep I got last night. Snuggled my little lady up all night long and kept waking up with amazement of how lucky I am to have such an awesome little girl! I told her that I hope she has so much fun at Grandma and Grandpa's this morning and she told me, "I will! And you know what? I hope you have so so so much fun, like this much (arms out wide) at surgery." haha...me too, Paige, me too!
I kept it together until after we dropped her off, but if our trip is going to be like this the whole way, I'm afraid Sean might leave me on the side of the road. I'm trying to be positive, but right now it's really hard. I'm doing this surgery so I can stick around a little longer and feel this is, without a doubt, the right thing, but those what-ifs keep kicking in and I hate it. My biggest what-if is what if dropping Paige off at Grandma and Grandpa's was the last time I'll see her? My heart aches thinking about that! I'm hoping and praying that's not the case, but anything can happen...especially with this big surgery! Anyway, I'm ready for these feelings to go away, but have a feeling this time in the car to just sit and think isn't going to be good. Hurry up and get there is going to be the goal right now!!!
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